Tuesday, November 22, 2011

आज ये कैसी उदासी चाई है...

आज ये कैसी उदासी चाई है
तन्हाई की बादल से भीगी जुदाई है
रोया है फिर मेरा दिल
जाने आज किसकी यद् आई है

बेचैन शाम को उदास रात ने आवाज़ लगायी है
कोई भूली हुई बात फिर याद आई है
दर्द उठा है आज फिर सीने में मेरे
जाने किसने चोट लगायी है .

अपना समझकर हर ख़ुशी उसपे लुटाई है
बदले में चाहा प्यार, तो मिली बेवफाई है
हुए इस कदर रुसवा हम की
आज खुद पे शर्म आई है

उसके इंतज़ार में बैठी मेरी परछाई है
कुछ सोचकर आज फिर आँख भर आई है
जल रही थी शमा बड़े शान से
जाने किसने आकर बुझाई है

आज वही तारीख लौटकर फिर आई है
पर वो नहीं साथ, सिर्फ मेरी तन्हाई है
यही सोचेंगे उम्र भर की
क्यों उसने की मेरी रुसवाई है

रोया है फिर मेरा दिल
कोई बात आज फिर याद आई है

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Happy Diwali !

అందరికి దీపావళి శుభాకాంక్షలు.

ప్రతియేటా దీపావళి పండగ వచ్చినా, ఈ సారి పండగకు ఒక ప్రత్యేకత ఉంది- మాయింట మహాలక్ష్మి అడుగు పెట్టింది.  చిన్న చెల్లికి చిన్న చిన్నతల్లి- అదితి పుట్టిన రోజు కార్తిక శుద్ధ పాడ్యమి.  అమ్మ, నాన్న, అక్క, చిన్ని, మరియు తమ్మి ఆనందానికి హద్దులు లేవు ఇక!
అందరి ఇళ్లల్లోలాగే మాయింట్లో  కూడా తెల్లవారుఝామునే లేచి, మంగళ స్నానాలు కానిచ్చేవాల్లము . అమ్మ నిద్రలోనే మమ్మల్ని లెపుతూ, పట్టు వస్త్రాలు కట్టుకోమని ప్రాణాలు తోదేసేది. 'అసలే చలి కాలం. నాలుగింటికి  ఎవరు లేస్తారమ్మ?' అని గులుగుతునే, ఒక వైపు నాన్న ఇచ్చే మంగళహారతి బహుమతులు గుర్తుకు వచ్చి టింగుమని  లేచేవాళ్ళం. అమ్మ మంగళహారతి ఇచ్చి, తలంటుపెట్టి,పటాకులు కాల్చమనేది. విదేశాల్లో ఉన్నందున నాలుగేళ్ళుగా ఇవన్నీ ఎంతగానో కోల్పోయినా, ఈ సారి మరీ బాధగా ఉంది. పది సంవత్సరాల తరువాత మొదటిసారిగా మా ఇంట్లో మళ్ళి ఆనందం చోటుచేసుకుంది అదితి రాకతో. ఆ సమయాన నేను అక్కడేఉన్న ఆనందాన్ని నేను కోల్పోతున్నాను.
                                                                 Aditi Chakravarthy.

వాచ్చేఏట దానితో, అందరు కుటుంబసభ్యులతో ఈ దీపావళి జరుపుకోవాలని ఆశిస్తూ సెలవు తెస్కున్తున్నాను.

 




Friday, August 5, 2011

Mending Wall

Once again, I remember this poem after all these years! "The Mending Wall", that's the title of a poem by Robert Frost I read in my English literature class when I was about 14 years. I hated taking notes, comprehending the meaning, and writing an essay on what the poet's thoughts were at that time. Then wondering why I even brought up the subject? Well, me too! :-)

I guess it started when I was on my plane to US from India. I went home after 3 years with all the excitement in the world, only to be disappointed twice as much. I felt as if there's a wall between everything/ everyone back home and me. As if the 10,000 miles is not just the distance on map anymore, but somehow crept between our hearts. Like there's a gap between us which can never be filled again..!

All these thoughts filled me with anger, frustration, and hatred, not on people I love the most, but on myself for I couldn't figure out how this 'gaps' came into existence in the first place!  Why and how couldn't I see them coming? I don't know. The only way I could vent out my feelings is by writing them down. And that's when I thought of this poem, "The Mending Wall"

I was/'m not really into metaphorical poetry (mostly because I don't get it), but somehow, this poem lasted on my mind for all these years, and I really like it a lot (especially now that I don't have to recite or give an exam, haha). Particularly, these lines...

"...The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there."

 

Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Proposal

Have you ever felt that confessing 'I love you' to a person who's been your 'friend-forever' is never an easy thing? Did you ever feel like your head's going to explode the minute you see that special friend walk towards you? That a thousand questions such as 'what to say', 'how to begin', when's the right time', 'what if he's not interested' or 'why me or him at all...', and so on, are popping up on your mind, and the world around you has vanished? Well, I certainly did, and it was a long time ago! Then why am I writing it NOW?

Well, because....

...it was a couple of days ago on my way back to home from a visit to my friend's place that all these memories flashed back. My dearest friend and I had this conversation; we usually talk almost about any nonsense in the world, and this time it had to be about LOVE. Anyway,  regardless of the consequences (my friend will kill me if he knew I published it), I decided to share my story.

Here's something which I liked to call 'The Proposal" when I wrote it about 3 and half years ago for a boy I met in college (after 10 years!). We were good friends at that time.

Dearest ***,        

I don't know how to start this letter, because I'm afraid it might be the end of our good acquaintance, or if I'm lucky, the realization of my dreams, which is for you to love me as I love you. I told myself I might as well take the risks because it's the only remedy I know that could unburden this feeling I've been keeping ever  since.

            My dear ***, I love you. I know you'll find it hard to believe me if I tell you now how much you mean to me. I could hardly understand what I feel for you, knowing how to endure those long sleepless nights just thinking only of you. I've never been like this before. I just don't know how to pour out my feelings for you. I wanted to find the perfect words to make you realize how much I need you, admire you, and love you, but words continue to elude me. What would they be? Something dramatic, or romantic, or poetic? I'm sure it should be heartfelt and out of the ordinary. I'm afraid it's no use for every time I look at you, or even hear your name; the words came out the same… I love you!

            I'm not ashamed of my feelings, and thought I have to let you know as I no longer can deceive you, and also myself.

 I cannot even end my pen saying 'anticipating your quick response' as I do not really expect one from you. All I thought was to let you know how much you mean to me, and relieve myself from this enduring pain by relating them to you.

All I can add is – I shall always remain yours truly,

 -A. 

The answer all I got was something along the lines of  "why didn't you tell me before? You wouldn't have gone through this pain at all. I would have told you 'NO' long ago'". Anyway, after that proposal, I felt totally humiliated. That's another story.  However, I did learn something from this episode- speak out if you want to be heard when the time's right instead of wondering 'what would it be/have been like if I...'

"Humne toh itna dekha
Humne toh itna seekha
Dil ka sauda hota hai sauda zindagi ka"

Heel free to laugh at, tease and mock me. I'll be glad to join you!




Saturday, April 9, 2011

School Daze!

//Acharya Devo Bhava //
 
Here's a little glimpse of my school days. Although I think every school kid (Indian atleast) has more or less similar things to say, I thought I'd pen down what I was like, back then. My life revolved around school and teachers just like the planets around the Sun. A good thing? I don't know. Lessons at schools; lessons at home; teachers at school; teachers at home (yes, both my parents were, and remain teachers to date). So, those were the days of punishments, homework, competition, discipline, punctuality, slip tests, oral tests, unit-tests, written exams (all kinds of exams, you name it), and more. Sometimes I wonder how did I even make through it! I can not quite recall if there were any fun times. If there were, perhaps short-lived. 

I think  it was in lower and upper kindergarten (LKG & UKG, as we call it), we had a sleeping-period. Yes, we were supposed to sleep in class for about 40 min, which no one did; instead put their head on the desk and murmured, which again led to punishments. I remember how difficult it was to sleep in class back then, and wished we had one in senior-secondary school (Classes XI-XII).  :-)

Visiting my American cousins at school, who live in Maryland, taught me that schooling is entirely a different concept here in US. I also wonder what it would have been like not standing under the sun for an hour (at 40 degree C, talking about India here) when forgot to do the homework, or taking cane thrashes for incomplete  uniform (a school dress with tie, belt, a badge, and shoe- unique to the school) or untidy hair or long nails or even not standing in line for the morning prayer. When I tell my cousins what was it like to be in my school, and they say 'No, they can't do that to you. You should cal 911', and I laugh.

Of all the things I feared the most were exams. Taking an exam every week, sometimes twice in a week, was a torture. And we had, what we call slip-test, or surprise-quizzes too. I think I always did well in languages (Telugu, Hindi, English and Sanskrit) and science, parts of social studies but never on maths. Learning history, both Indian and European, was the worst. Never remembered who fought against whom, why and when. :-/ . 

Did I say too much about the exams/ Perhaps I did. Well, school was mostly about education; if we weren't in the class, then we were in the common room participating in a competition like essay-writing, elocution, music, painting, sports, general knowledge, and dance. The other day when I was watching Harry Potter, I recollected that we had houses too, a total of 6 namely Madame Curie, Jhansi Lakshmibai, Sir Issac Newton, Sir C.V. Raman, Aryabhata, Sir Albert Einstein. Students were sorted into these houses at the beginning of primary school. I was in Jhansi Lakshmibai House. Competitions were loaded with fun when among the students of same house, but always strenuous when between the houses. ;-)

Oh, and  periodic evaluations of  notebooks tested my patience to the limit. So, we had three notebooks- a classwork, a homework, and a fair-notes, for every subject (course, as they call in US). Teachers checked our notes every now and then to make sure we had it all. Handwriting was given a great importance. We had to write and re-write the notes if the handwriting was poor. I remember once my college professor made my friend write the entire book of 'phono-writing for LKG'. Adding insult to the injury, he gave him a paragraph to write on the black board as a test. Now that I think of handwriting, I wonder what my students would do to me if I made them write phono-writing. Or perhaps, I should just be glad that there's 'Word'. :-)

However, I must tell you that though the path was rocky and I tumbled several times along the path, I cherished every moment of my school days. I wouldn't have missed any of it for the world. Why else would I remember every second of it?! I believe it's in those days when I learnt the most in my life; meanings of education, discipline, good manners, friendship, and respect. If I hadn't have had good teachers (including my parents), and wonderful mates, I would have been a complete disaster now. Now that after all these 20 years I began to share my experiences with my friends' across the world, I realized that I was taught a lesson every moment of my life; lesson to choose the right path, lesson to lead a better life in every situation, and lessons of true value of education. 

Every time I go down the memory lane, it's like I live my school days all over again. My heart's is filled with joy and happiness, and eyes with tears. that's when I think I had a life.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

My sister's wedding!

Although the wedding preparations started a year before the date (December 10th, 2010), I must say the actual ceremony begun with the 'INVITATION" couple of months before the big day. Beginning with an invitation card to the end of the wedding rituals, I think our customs differ so much from any others. For example, we have a 'formal' or traditional card which is usually given to all the elders in the family and relatives, and there is an 'informal' card for friends. Ever heard of that? Well, here is the 'informal' invitation I sent to my friends.


Looks like everyone took this invitation very seriously after all. Nearly 600 people (includes family and friends) attended the wedding. Good thing, father made a reservation for a hall of a capacity thousand.

Every tradition has its own significance and glamour. Marriage is one such an occasion. I haven’t attended many weddings to talk about. A few which I did were all one of a kind, I mean, not very different in terms of customs and traditions.Once I went to a Christian wedding along with a friend of mine. I couldn’t quite catch all the details of the occasion (except of course, the bride and the groom were getting married, hehe), but I must say, the bride looked spectacular in the wedding gown! Though I was not an 'invitee', friends' of friends are always expected and welcomed anywhere in India, no matter how big or small the occasion is. That's why we say
"Atithi Devo Bhava"-  meaning 'The guest is God'

Okay, back to my story again. Although we are Telugites (yep, that's the term given to people from Andhra Pradesh), all my rituals are a mixture of  'Tamil' and 'Telugu" traditions. Why?! That's a long story, and this is not the place to pen it. {Just a thought, perhaps I should write another blog about it...hmmm!). So, all the rituals are categorized into 'before-', 'during-' and 'after-' the wedding ceremonies, which are very vibrant. All the customs are followed with religious observance. Everyone, right from the prospective bride and the groom to the family members, friends and relatives has the festive mood, which is set by the ceremony. The festive spirits are boosted up among the people, witnessing the ceremony, by the colourful and elaborate rituals that are conducted before, during and after the marriage.

 Well, I'm not expert in elaborating what every ritual means, but I'm trying my best here. It goes like this:


*** Pre-Wedding Customs ***

  • Muhurtham: Muhurtham is a pre-wedding ritual. It is an 'auspicious time' for the marriage chosen by the family astrologer, generally six months before the wedding. A short ritual is performed on the day wherein both the families of the bride and the groom offer prayers to the Lord. This is done to ensure that the wedding preparations proceed without any hassle.
My mother, father and sister performing Puja
  • Pendlikoothuru: I think this may be equal to 'Bridal Shower". However, bridal makeup varies greatly in different cultures. In my culture, this ritual is performed a couple of days before the wedding. Turmeric stem is ground to paste with oil, and is smeared to the bride and the groom, at their respective homes. This is done to cleanse their skin, so that a natural glow is radiated. Hereafter, the bride always takes bath with turmeric in water. After bathing the bride and the groom, they are given a new set of clothing to wear. The bride is adorned with flowers and jewelry.
*My aunts grounding the turmeric stem to paste
My aunt applying 'haldi' to my sister
  • Kashi Yatra: This is a fun ritual, at least to me. After reciting the Vedic verses, the groom pretends to go on a Kashi yatra- pilgrimage. This is when the groom shows that he has given up the worldly pleasure and is no more interested in leading a family life. He is then stopped by the brother of the bride, who persuades him to assume the responsibility of a householder. The fun part is where the brother of the bride has to carry an umbrella for the groom, please him with all kinds of sweets, and even beg him to take his sister's hand in marriage. Of course, all this is an act. My brother-in-law-to-be was already so in love with my sister that he couldn't even even pretend to go on pilgrimage, haha.
*My b-i-l pretending to go on pilgrimage
* My brother pleading my brother-in-law 
*My father fanning my b-i-l; brother carrying an umbrella
*My brother: 'Would you care for some sweets brother?'
A little fun for me too
*** During-Wedding Customs ***

  • Mangala Snaanan and Lakshmi Puja: It is the holy bath taken by both the bride and the groom at their respective homes on the dawn of the wedding day. Before the wedding ceremony, the groom attends the Lord Ganesh pooja, and the bride, Lakshmi pooja. They pray to Lord to give wisdom to lead their life happily.
My sister, accompanied by my father, mother, elder sister, and others: Time to worship the Lord.
  • Jaanavasam: Although the ritual of Jaanavaasam has faded away with the passing time, it is still followed by some families. The groom boards a beautifully decorated car, accompanied by a large marriage procession of close friends and relatives.
 
  • Receiving The Groom: When the groom's family reaches the wedding venue, they are greeted and welcomed warmly by the bride's family, offer them a tray of flowers, betel nuts, fruits and sugar. Rose water is also sprinkled on them. The bride's brother applies tilak made by mixing sandalwood paste and kumkum, on the groom's forehead. Thereafter, the brother also puts a garland around the groom's neck. Then, the bride's mother serves a delicious dessert prepared from condensed milk. Thereafter, aarti is performed by an elder female member of the bride's family. In order to culminate the ritual and to ward-off the evil eye, a coconut is broken on the ground.
Receiving the groom at the venue
  • Yedurukoollu: After the groom enters the venue, this is the first time the bride and the groom come face to face. They exchanges garlands for three times. This ceremony is full of fun and frolic. Thereafter, they are seated together on a swing.
Who goes higher to put the garland?



  •  Kanyadaan: Kanyadaan is the ceremony in which the girl's family hands over their daughter's responsibility to the groom's. During the ceremony, the bride's maternal uncle brings her to the stage in a bamboo basket. Until the completion of the ceremony, the bride and the groom are not allowed to see each other and therefore, are separated by a curtain placed between them, as a partition. Thereafter, the bride's parents wash the groom's feet, assuming him as an 'avatar' of God.
My uncles bringing my sister in a bamboo basket to the 'Mandap'- stage
Bride and groom separated by a curtain 



 
My father handing over my sister to the groom's family
  • Jeelakarra Bellamu: The priest recites the shlokas from the Vedas. Thereafter, the couple is asked to smear a paste made from cumin seeds and jaggery on each other's hands. This custom is referred to as Jeelakarra-Bellamu. This ceremony is observed to communicate that the relationship of the married couple is unbreakable and inseparable.
Now we are inseparable!
  • Madhuparkam: As a part of Madhuparkam ritual, the bride dresses up in red/maroon silk sari  On the other hand, the groom wears yellow dhoti- a cotton garment with red border. These colours stand for purity and strength. 

  • Sumangli: Five married women (sumangalis) accompany the bride. Three out of the ten women hold plates containing a mixture of rice and turmeric powder, while the rest hold small lit lamps in their respective plates. Rice represents abundance, while the lit lamps symbolize light.



  • Mangalsutra- the Holy Knot: In order to perform the ritual, the partition between the bride and the groom are removed. After removing the partition, the groom ties the two strings of the mangalsutra - the holy thread, each with a golden disc, with three knots around the bride's neck. This represents the physical, mental and spiritual union of the couple. 
United forever- physically, mentally and spiritually.
  • Talambralu: Akshantha ceremony or Talambralu is followed soon after tying the holy thread. The bride and groom exchange garlands. People witnessing this occasion come forward to bless the couple, by sprinkling flower petals and rice coated with turmeric powder. 



  • Saptapadi:  As a part of the Saptapadi ritual, the groom and bride walk seven steps together around the fire, while chanting mantras. When the pheras are conducted, the pallu of bride's sari is tied to one end of the groom's dhoti.
Taking seven steps- indicating they're bound together for seven lives from now on
  • Sthaalipaakam: Sthaalipaakam is a ritual wherein the groom adorns the feet of the bride with silver toe rings. In order to ward-off the evil eye, she is asked to wear a string of black beads during the ceremony. After organizing an enthralling wedding ceremony, the families of the bride and the groom head towards preparing the venue for the post-wedding celebrations starting with Grihapravesh, wherein the bride enters the groom's house formally in order to prosper his life there, and many other rituals.

*** Post-Wedding Customs ***

  • Homam, Arundhati darshanam & Phala daanam: The bride's brother offers popped rice to the groom, which he offers to the holy fire. By doing this, the couple seeks the blessings of Agni that represents the divine power and light of God. Thereafter, the couple come out of the hall to look at the sky for a particular star, Arundhati. According to Hindu mythology, The 'Great Bear' constillation depicts seven sages and their families, who are the originators of the Vedic Lore of the Hindus. In memoriam of these great sages. The significance of this ritual is to remind the couple of the cosmic responsibilities they have to fulfill. Viewing these Great Sages is intended to remind the couple the heritage they have to carry and the debt to the sages they have to pay. Then, they get back to the stage. As a part of Paaladaanam custom, the couple seeks the blessings of the elderly members of the family by touching their feet.
Sacred fires

Seeking Sages' blessings

Let me show you where She is.
Receiving the blessings
  • Grihapravesham: After the completion of wedding ceremony, the bride is taken to her husband's home. Aarti is performed to welcome the newly married couple, as they stand at the doorstep to enter the home. Hereafter, the groom's home is the bride's home. A lavish feast is served at the newly wedded couple's home.
My family
Groom's family
  • Reception Party: To facilitate intimacy, the groom's family hosts a reception party in the evening. People bless the newly- weds and convey their heartiest wishes. This is the time, when family, friends, relatives and faraway acquaintances attend the reception party to shower blessings, gifts and best wishes on the newly married couple. 
It's time to go to honeymoon...
And thus the saga ends, or should I say, the new saga begins?