WhiteNotez: My sister's wedding!

Although the wedding preparations started a year before the date (December 10th, 2010), I must say the actual ceremony begun with the 'INVITATION" couple of months before the big day. Beginning with an invitation card to the end of the wedding rituals, I think our customs differ so much from any others. For example, we have a 'formal' or traditional card which is usually given to all the elders in the family and relatives, and there is an 'informal' card for friends. Ever heard of that? Well, here is the 'informal' invitation I sent to my friends.

Looks like everyone took this invitation very seriously after all. Nearly 600 people (includes family and friends) attended the wedding. Good thing, father made a reservation for a hall of a capacity thousand.

Every tradition has its own significance and glamour. Marriage is one such an occasion. I haven’t attended many weddings to talk about. A few which I did were all one of a kind, I mean, not very different in terms of customs and traditions.Once I went to a Christian wedding along with a friend of mine. I couldn’t quite catch all the details of the occasion (except of course, the bride and the groom were getting married, hehe), but I must say, the bride looked spectacular in the wedding gown! Though I was not an 'invitee', friends' of friends are always expected and welcomed anywhere in India, no matter how big or small the occasion is. That's why we say

"Atithi Devo Bhava"- meaning 'The guest is God'

Okay, back to my story again. Although we are Telugites (yep, that's the term given to people from Andhra Pradesh), all my rituals are a mixture of 'Tamil' and 'Telugu" traditions. Why?! That's a long story, and this is not the place to pen it. {Just a thought, perhaps I should write another blog about it...hmmm!). So, all the rituals are categorized into 'before-', 'during-' and 'after-' the wedding ceremonies, which are very vibrant. All the customs are followed with religious observance. Everyone, right from the prospective bride and the groom to the family members, friends and relatives has the festive mood, which is set by the ceremony. The festive spirits are boosted up among the people, witnessing the ceremony, by the colourful and elaborate rituals that are conducted before, during and after the marriage.

Well, I'm not expert in elaborating what every ritual means, but I'm trying my best here. It goes like this:

*** Pre-Wedding Customs ***

Muhurtham: Muhurtham is a pre-wedding ritual. It is an 'auspicious time' for the marriage chosen by the family astrologer, generally six months before the wedding. A short ritual is performed on the day wherein both the families of the bride and the groom offer prayers to the Lord. This is done to ensure that the wedding preparations proceed without any hassle.

My mother, father and sister performing Puja

Pendlikoothuru: I think this may be equal to 'Bridal Shower". However, bridal makeup varies greatly in different cultures. In my culture, this ritual is performed a couple of days before the wedding. Turmeric stem is ground to paste with oil, and is smeared to the bride and the groom, at their respective homes. This is done to cleanse their skin, so that a natural glow is radiated. Hereafter, the bride always takes bath with turmeric in water. After bathing the bride and the groom, they are given a new set of clothing to wear. The bride is adorned with flowers and jewelry.

*My aunts grounding the turmeric stem to paste

My aunt applying 'haldi' to my sister

Kashi Yatra: This is a fun ritual, at least to me. After reciting the Vedic verses, the groom pretends to go on a Kashi yatra- pilgrimage. This is when the groom shows that he has given up the worldly pleasure and is no more interested in leading a family life. He is then stopped by the brother of the bride, who persuades him to assume the responsibility of a householder. The fun part is where the brother of the bride has to carry an umbrella for the groom, please him with all kinds of sweets, and even beg him to take his sister's hand in marriage. Of course, all this is an act. My brother-in-law-to-be was already so in love with my sister that he couldn't even even pretend to go on pilgrimage, haha.

*My b-i-l pretending to go on pilgrimage

* My brother pleading my brother-in-law

*My father fanning my b-i-l; brother carrying an umbrella

*My brother: 'Would you care for some sweets brother?'

A little fun for me too

*** During-Wedding Customs ***

Mangala Snaanan and Lakshmi Puja: It is the holy bath taken by both the bride and the groom at their respective homes on the dawn of the wedding day. Before the wedding ceremony, the groom attends the Lord Ganesh pooja, and the bride, Lakshmi pooja. They pray to Lord to give wisdom to lead their life happily.

My sister, accompanied by my father, mother, elder sister, and others: Time to worship the Lord.

Jaanavasam: Although the ritual of Jaanavaasam has faded away with the passing time, it is still followed by some families. The groom boards a beautifully decorated car, accompanied by a large marriage procession of close friends and relatives.

Receiving The Groom: When the groom's family reaches the wedding venue, they are greeted and welcomed warmly by the bride's family, offer them a tray of flowers, betel nuts, fruits and sugar. Rose water is also sprinkled on them. The bride's brother applies tilak made by mixing sandalwood paste and kumkum, on the groom's forehead. Thereafter, the brother also puts a garland around the groom's neck. Then, the bride's mother serves a delicious dessert prepared from condensed milk. Thereafter, aarti is performed by an elder female member of the bride's family. In order to culminate the ritual and to ward-off the evil eye, a coconut is broken on the ground.

Receiving the groom at the venue

Yedurukoollu: After the groom enters the venue, this is the first time the bride and the groom come face to face. They exchanges garlands for three times. This ceremony is full of fun and frolic. Thereafter, they are seated together on a swing.


Who goes higher to put the garland?

Kanyadaan: Kanyadaan is the ceremony in which the girl's family hands over their daughter's responsibility to the groom's. During the ceremony, the bride's maternal uncle brings her to the stage in a bamboo basket. Until the completion of the ceremony, the bride and the groom are not allowed to see each other and therefore, are separated by a curtain placed between them, as a partition. Thereafter, the bride's parents wash the groom's feet, assuming him as an 'avatar' of God.

My uncles bringing my sister in a bamboo basket to the 'Mandap'- stage


Bride and groom separated by a curtain

My father handing over my sister to the groom's family

Jeelakarra Bellamu: The priest recites the shlokas from the Vedas. Thereafter, the couple is asked to smear a paste made from cumin seeds and jaggery on each other's hands. This custom is referred to as Jeelakarra-Bellamu. This ceremony is observed to communicate that the relationship of the married couple is unbreakable and inseparable.

Now we are inseparable!

Madhuparkam: As a part of Madhuparkam ritual, the bride dresses up in red/maroon silk sari On the other hand, the groom wears yellow dhoti- a cotton garment with red border. These colours stand for purity and strength.

Sumangli: Five married women (sumangalis) accompany the bride. Three out of the ten women hold plates containing a mixture of rice and turmeric powder, while the rest hold small lit lamps in their respective plates. Rice represents abundance, while the lit lamps symbolize light.

Mangalsutra- the Holy Knot: In order to perform the ritual, the partition between the bride and the groom are removed. After removing the partition, the groom ties the two strings of the mangalsutra - the holy thread, each with a golden disc, with three knots around the bride's neck. This represents the physical, mental and spiritual union of the couple.

United forever- physically, mentally and spiritually.

Talambralu: Akshantha ceremony or Talambralu is followed soon after tying the holy thread. The bride and groom exchange garlands. People witnessing this occasion come forward to bless the couple, by sprinkling flower petals and rice coated with turmeric powder.

Saptapadi: As a part of the Saptapadi ritual, the groom and bride walk seven steps together around the fire, while chanting mantras. When the pheras are conducted, the pallu of bride's sari is tied to one end of the groom's dhoti.

Taking seven steps- indicating they're bound together for seven lives from now on

Sthaalipaakam: Sthaalipaakam is a ritual wherein the groom adorns the feet of the bride with silver toe rings. In order to ward-off the evil eye, she is asked to wear a string of black beads during the ceremony. After organizing an enthralling wedding ceremony, the families of the bride and the groom head towards preparing the venue for the post-wedding celebrations starting with Grihapravesh, wherein the bride enters the groom's house formally in order to prosper his life there, and many other rituals.

*** Post-Wedding Customs ***

Homam, Arundhati darshanam & Phala daanam: The bride's brother offers popped rice to the groom, which he offers to the holy fire. By doing this, the couple seeks the blessings of Agni that represents the divine power and light of God. Thereafter, the couple come out of the hall to look at the sky for a particular star, Arundhati. According to Hindu mythology, The 'Great Bear' constillation depicts seven sages and their families, who are the originators of the Vedic Lore of the Hindus. In memoriam of these great sages. The significance of this ritual is to remind the couple of the cosmic responsibilities they have to fulfill. Viewing these Great Sages is intended to remind the couple the heritage they have to carry and the debt to the sages they have to pay. Then, they get back to the stage. As a part of Paaladaanam custom, the couple seeks the blessings of the elderly members of the family by touching their feet.

Sacred fires

Seeking Sages' blessings

Let me show you where She is.

Receiving the blessings

Grihapravesham: After the completion of wedding ceremony, the bride is taken to her husband's home. Aarti is performed to welcome the newly married couple, as they stand at the doorstep to enter the home. Hereafter, the groom's home is the bride's home. A lavish feast is served at the newly wedded couple's home.

My family

Groom's family

Reception Party: To facilitate intimacy, the groom's family hosts a reception party in the evening. People bless the newly- weds and convey their heartiest wishes. This is the time, when family, friends, relatives and faraway acquaintances attend the reception party to shower blessings, gifts and best wishes on the newly married couple.